I have been going through a “rough” spot. A relationship breaking up and chronic back pain. ALL AT THE SAME TIME! I can’t say that the back pain wasn’t a symptom of the stress of going through a break-up. I’m a firm believer that emotional pain can manifest physically in your body, usually through the path of least resistance, which in this case is my lower back. Regardless of how it manifested, I was still dealing with the pain. Like can’t get out of bed pain.
What I do:
When I find myself in times of woe, I have to dig deep into my tool box. Practice the things that I suggest my clients try to help them through a rough time.
This is what I did:
Made time in my schedule.
I still had to work, but the time I had free, I left open to give myself the time and space to heal and reflect. This took work, because if you are anything like me, you’ll fill up your schedule to avoid any free millisecond where you have to face the fact you’re in pain and reflect on what happened and how to move forward.
Being busy can be an avoidance issue and not a precursor to productivity.
I made no plans.
I really checked in with myself to see what I needed. This past week there was a lot of down time and reading. I was just exhausted (emotionally & physically) and I had the time to rest. It. Felt. Really. Good.
Sought out help.
I sought out help for my back (even though it took me a week to do this) I scheduled a massage and sought out a chiropractor.
I contacted my coach and had a few sessions to help me process my break-up.
I also reached out to friends and family to express all the emotions I was feeling.
Sometimes I can isolate and shut down in the face of emotional pain.
It felt vulnerable.
It felt like I was not being tough enough, or strong enough. But, I know from past experience it’s necessary for my healing, and those thoughts of not being strong enough is what keeps me small. There is power in vulnerability.
This is the rock star tool and my main go to. In the midst of my week-long break down, I called my best friend daily and told her what I was thankful for…3 things. Some Days were easier than others, but this exercise always shifted my perspective to look at the things I DID have, and NOT the things I didn’t.
After 12 days in the Valley, I’m climbing my way back up onto the mountainside my friends. I have survived!
I often say, “breakdowns to breakthroughs” … It will probably be on my gravestone 🙂
I live life knowing that breakdowns will happen, some bigger than others, some unexpected, and others we know are coming and we just don’t know when. What I hold onto is a breakdown is always followed by some kind of breakthrough. It’s how life naturally finds again its homeostasis. Just like our bodies. Just like our minds. Just like the earth.
That’s what I keep focused on.
Some might call this HOPE.
I have a refreshed sense of admiration and love for my body. I’m still giving my body rest and easing into movement, but it motivates me to take extra great care of my muscles, bones and keep them flexible and moving. Not being able to move freely for over a week will give you all kinds of breakthroughs..lol!
So, for me, more physical self-care in my future. Also, my heart stretches towards people with Chronic Pain. The fact they have to deal with intense physical pain daily….phew!! It opened my eyes, heart and mind to others suffering. I come out of my back pain grateful and humbled by others strength in dealing with their physical pain.
My breakthrough with emotional pain…
I’m not letting this heartbreak make me bitter or close down my heart to love. Period.
See, some breakthroughs can be simple, and not to say that it’s easy, but it is simple!
I KEEP MY HEART OPEN TO LOVE. (mantra/affirmation) a choice, a clear path to the next destination. The next breakdown. The next breakthrough.
Maya Angelou on perseverance and defeat:
There is, I hope, a thesis in my work: we may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated. That sounds goody-two-shoes, I know, but I believe that a diamond is the result of extreme pressure and time. Less time is crystal. Less than that is coal. Less than that is fossilized leaves. Less than that it’s just plain dirt. In all my work, in the movies I write, the lyrics, the poetry, the prose, the essays, I am saying that we may encounter many defeats—maybe it’s imperative that we encounter the defeats—but we are much stronger than we appear to be and maybe much better than we allow ourselves to be.
Gena Januseski has been in the Holistic Health field for the past 13 years practicing as Life Coach, Ordained Minister and Massage Therapist. She started Recharge Holistics, LLC. In 2015 to create a space for like minded people to come together and recharge their Mind, Body, and Spirit. No matter where a person is in their journey, Gena provides the guidance and accountability needed to create an amazingly more abundant life! firstname.lastname@example.org 260-402-9891