Have you ever noticed how we repeat the same patterns in our lives over and over again? We say to ourselves, “ I can’t believe this happened again!” as we find ourselves in the same relationship rut, embroiled in the same argument or duplicating the same situation in our career, our friendships or in our relationship to money. The specifics of these events may change however at some point, we finally notice that there are patterns that repeat themselves again and again and again.

At the point when we become sick and tired of the same old drama and trauma and when we become aware of these repetitive patterns in ourselves hoping there must be a better way, we look for a solution to claim our freedom from it. We know that we want to act instead react and we become aware of the patterns we recognize do not serve us anymore that stem from the wounds of our past.

We come to the realization that only we are responsible for healing this wounded place inside of us. These wounds are the places where our Inner Child has experienced trauma in the past.  These are raw and tender places and we often protect ourselves from venturing too close to them. We have covered them with layers of defenses so that no one can hurt us in the same way again.  We run from the truth of how we can heal these wounds because we are afraid that we will not survive this encounter. It is a natural response however, there comes a time when we choose to act from a place of higher consciousness. We desperately want to release these fixed ways of reacting, not defining ourselves by them any longer, because we know, deep down, that our true Self is nothing like this.

We do not usually embrace this decision with leaps of joy and unbounded enthusiasm. Instead it looks to us like the lesser of two evils as we walk up to the edge and dip our toe in. This new decision is strange and scary, sometimes even terrifying, however we know it is pointing us to a place that needs to heal. We also intuitively know that this wounded area will dictate the choices in our lives unless we confront it. It will continue to nag at us and Life will bring us situations and people that give us the opportunity to heal, until we finally decide to.

This place is wonderful and terrifying and exhilarating and strange. It beckons us to make a new choice as we take a new road and venture into this unfamiliar territory called Conscious Choice. It calls for us to take control of our actions, our words and our thoughts instead of falling into the seductive allure of familiarity and complacency.

With this new realization and this new awareness, we choose to act from love, for others and ourselves, instead of from a defensive standpoint. We now choose to see those in our lives in a new light, one bathed in compassion and acceptance. We decide to look at the patterns in our lives with honesty and clarity, instead of fear. The wounds of our past do not cause us this intense fear anymore because we now know only we are in charge of how we feel and what we do. When we now notice those repetitive situations, we choose to make choices based in freedom and strength that honor who we truly are.  

This new awareness and these new choices give us the strength, stability and freedom that we ultimately seek. It serves to affect others in our lives as well, as our typical unconscious reactions have now shifted. Those we come into contact with notice and respond to this new energy. It helps to heal us and to heal them.

In this place, we find the freedom we have been searching for. Here, the past no longer dictates our present. 

Jeanmarie Wilson, M.S. School Counseling, has been a high school counselor for over twenty-five years and is the parent of two young adults. Her book, Parenting from Your Soul, offers a new way to view the parenting role, based on information she learned from working with thousands of families over the years, raising her own children and from the awareness she gained along her own spiritual journey. Jeanmarie is passionate about helping parents approach the amazing, yet often challenging, parenting journey with compassion and wisdom.
www.parentingfromyoursoul.com