Tales of Two Births
by Carol Dohoney •Oyster Bay, NY

I am a doula (birth labor assistant.) I am also a mother and have been a licensed massage therapist and holistic practitioner for 20 years. Birth has always been a passion for me, as I see the wonderful potential each birth offers to every woman and her partner. Pregnancy and birth are the beginning of a long journey, one that is very physical, but also deeply emotional and spiritual.

I have witnessed some very disturbing practices in the birthing community. I’ve seen incredible courage and also abject fear. I’ve seen misinformation lead to poor choices. I have observed the overall lack of value attached to the birthing experience.

Here are two very different scenarios:
Susan and Dan conceive a child and are excited. When she shares their news with family and friends, she hears comments like; It’s hell, take the epidural as soon as you can, or It was a horrible experience, luckily you forget. Susan begins to experience morning sickness. She goes to her OB/GYN group, where there are five doctors. The initial exam is uncomfortable and the discussion with her doctor takes all of 10 minutes.

She finds out she will get any one of the five doctors when she goes into labor; it depends on who is on call. Susan is told about the many tests she will be given throughout her pregnancy, "to be safe." When she asks about natural birth, the doctor shrugs and says they’ll have to see what happens. The doctor describes their usual practice of episiotomy ("it’s safer"), epidurals and other interventions. The size of her pelvis is determined to be small and the doctor brings up the option of a cesarean birth.

Susan feels anxious now. She does not feel comfortable discussing what may be viewed as weakness so she remains quiet. Susan and Dan attend the hospital birth class, doing their best to be enthusiastic. During the class they are told about breathing techniques and various pain relief measures are discussed. It is explained that Susan will be hooked up as soon as they check into the hospital, and from that point on she needn’t do anything. As soon as the pain gets bad, it can be taken away by the medications. Dan asks about complications or side effects to the drugs, because a buddy at work told him of horrible headaches and a persistent back pain his wife developed after an epidural birth. They are told that very few women have any problems. Even after they finish the class, Susan and Dan feel isolated and unsure. They try to look forward to this birth but all they have been told about is pain, drugs and surgeries.

If all goes well, Susan will birth vaginally, but because she will be so numb from the epidural, the doctor and nurses will have to yell loudly at her to tell her when to push. It’s also possible that the baby won’t have rotated properly because she’s been flat on her back for hours, so they will have to use forceps or a vacuum to suck the baby’s head out.

How do you think Susan and Dan will experience this birth?

Scenario #2: Linda discovers she is pregnant. She and her partner, Joe, are excited. They want this to be a good experience. They find a midwife practice near their home that their insurance covers. The midwife, Grace, a mother herself, shares their enthusiasm for their upcoming birth. She suggests some great reading material. Specific foods, herbs and acupressure points are suggested for any discomforts. Their fears are addressed and Grace explains that she may use tests periodically if there is an indication for them.

She recommends a local birthing class in the Bradley Method. These classes stress a pro-active participation in the process. They are shown the best ways to prepare for labor; exercises that will help the women deliver easier and proven natural techniques for bringing on labor if a women is past due, to avoid a painful pitocin induction of labor. The importance of supporting each other emotionally is discussed. They are shown the most effective techniques and positions for dealing with labor pain, the importance of eating and drinking well as Linda begins labor. The instructor also explains hospital procedures, medications and surgeries that may come into play. She emphasizes the importance of informed consent to any and all procedures and suggests alternatives to the inflexibility they may come up against in the medical setting. Grace expresses confidence in Linda’s ability to birth this child naturally. She explains how the pelvic bones (joints) spread apart during delivery and about positions that will help even more. She expects to monitor Linda intermittently so she will be free to move around to labor effectively.

They meet several doulas at class one night and learn about the value of having a labor assistant support them during labor. With all of this support, Linda enjoys her pregnancy and looks forward to her birth with confidence and appreciation of her abilities and the power within her.

You can imagine the difference in the birth experiences of these two couples. Preparation for birthing can foster either empowerment or helplessness, a sense of trusting the natural processes of life or distrusting the dark recesses of a woman’s body and psyche. The birthing environment can honor a woman’s strength with encouragement or demean and limit her with fear.

It is my hope that as a society and as individuals we begin to honor and support the awesome process of birth. It can be a wonderful path toward experiencing ourselves as whole, powerful women, as parents who learn through direct experience their innate ability to provide and care for their children. We do have the capacity to respond to life with the strength, courage, creativity and love that is our birthright.

Carol Dohoney is a licensed massage therapist with a private practice in Oyster Bay. For more info on birth support services, call (516) 624-9896 or email Litework@optonline.net.