Turning Points
by Denise Linn

Every life has turning points. The episode that led to my recent book was one for me. It occurred in the early morning about a year ago and initiated a sequence of events that transpired over the past twelve months. Maybe it even saved my life.

I woke up exhausted and depressed. Stumbling out of bed into the bathroom, I splashed water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and my face was puffy. When did I get so out of shape and start to feel so old and depleted? When did I forget how to embrace each day with joy? Increasingly, each morning had been permeated with these small despairs.

Looking into the mirror, I tried to find some glimmer of myself beyond the limp hair and dull skin. Suddenly, superimposed over my face in the mirror, the image of a snake appeared. It wavered before me, like heat above the road on a hot summer day, and then disappeared. A snake! I was shocked. It happened too fast for me to be scared. Where did it come from? And why?

Wisps of a dream from the previous night began to filter into my memory. In broken fragments, I remembered a snake. It was fat and yellow, its back criss-crossed with black lines, and it moved slowly and sensuously. I was terrified, yet fascinated by it at the same time. Although the snake in my dream looked healthy, I had the feeling it was dying. Standing before the mirror, I was overwhelmed with emotion and began to sob. I didn’t really know why I was crying, but I knew that something was wrong with my life.

For a few years prior to this incident, I had been feeling sluggish and uninspired. Something inside me seemed to be slowly dying. Occasional depression had turned into a nearly everyday occurrence. I was gaining weight and feeling stagnant. The only exercise I ever got was walking down the stairs from my bedroom in the morning to the desk and computer in my home office and going back up the stairs to the bedroom at night. Several times I’d joined a gym, but I would go twice and then never go back again. Whenever I wanted to be athletic and get fit, I’d go shopping for athletic equipment– and then not use it.

My professional and family life were good, but when I was alone, I was often filled with quiet desperation. Friends said it was menopause and aging, but when I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the snake, I knew it was deeper than that. I had the feeling that unless something changed in my life, my health would suffer and I could die.

Although I’ve been blessed with a strong body, I’ve also had the potential for poor health as a result of injuries I sustained as a teenager. When I was seventeen, I was shot in a random violent act and suffered substantial damage to my body, including the loss of my spleen, one of my kidneys and an adrenal gland. I also had a bullet hole through part of my spine (though I can still walk) and a plastic tube inserted to replace my aorta.

While in the emergency ward of the hospital, I had a near-death experience. I had been in tremendous pain, but abruptly the pain subsided and everything became very quiet and still. I felt myself lifting out of my body and entering a soft, dark sphere that cocooned and protected me. I don’t know how long I was there, but suddenly a piercing light penetrated the darkness and I found myself in a realm of exquisite golden light. It was so peaceful and beautiful I didn’t want to leave, but a calm, resonant voice told me I couldn’t remain there because my time on earth wasn’t complete. I tried so hard to stay, but I was pulled back into my physical form.

After coming back into my body, something remarkable began to happen. The radiant energy flowing out of people, plants, and objects became visible to me, and everything on the earth seemed to be enveloped in an ocean of energy, light and sound. The world was so alive. My body healed very quickly. During those few moments when I was thought to be dead, I had tapped into a healing life force. I eventually became a healer, using the insights I had gained to assist others in their healing process. But over the last few years, I had felt my vitality and energy waning.

I have always watched for signs, omens and coincidences. Possibly this is a quality passed down from my Cherokee ancestors, and perhaps I developed this ability as a child to help me endure a home filled with violence and abuse. I taught myself to watch for signs to make survival easier. For example, a red-winged blackbird in the morning was a good sign for me. Whenever I saw one, something positive would happen– I knew I didn’t have to be so vigilant and on guard for that day.

I knew the appearance of the snake in the mirror and in my dream had an important significance in my life. The image was still floating through my mind as I sat down for breakfast and picked up a book to read. When I opened it, the word snake jumped out at me. I scrolled down the page to read a paragraph about the serpent being a powerful symbol of the divine feminine spirit and of the Goddess. The Goddess– the divine feminine. Was the snake in my dream there to nudge me in this direction?

As I stared at the book, I felt a rumble arise within me, like a mountain being born from fire. In that moment, I dedicated the next year of my life to awakening my divine feminine spirit. I gave myself a full cycle of the seasons– spring, summer, autumn, and winter– to nurture and rejuvenate myself.

This decision not only changed the course of my life, but I believe that it also saved it. It led me to the exploration of how to activate ancient wisdom to awaken the Goddess and become a magnificent woman of strength and grace. You can also follow the signs that come to you and discover how to become a Glorious Woman!

The preceding was excerpted with permisssion from the new book Secrets and Mysteries: The Glory and Pleasure of Being a Women, published by Hay House, Inc. Available at bookstores, by phone; 800-654-5126, or via the Internet at www.hayhouse.com

Denise Linn is an international lecturer, healer, and author at the forefront of the Feng Shui movement in the U.S., Europe, and Australia. For more than 30 years, Denise has studied the traditions of ancient and native cultures. She is the author of numerous books and tapes. Contact her through Hay House, www.hayhouse.com