Fitting “Out”
by Joshua Rosenthal • New York, NY

Every single person has a unique quality that they offer the world, whether it’s through their sense of style, personality, sense of humor, wisdom or spirituality. But as we grow up we all become susceptible to the age-old social pressure to conform, be accepted and keep up with the Joneses. Who cares about the Joneses?

America has created this matrix of standards. It dictates to us its rules about our food, our health, our relationships, our spirituality and how we should live. It’s what is familiar and comfortable to most people. Even if you do not agree with these “rules,” you are expected to abide by them. What fun is that?

The problem with this matrix and making people believe they must fit in is it can lead people to lose their sense of self and therefore steal their happiness, authenticity and future which may cause problems for your health.

As a society we are pushed to work harder and achieve more success in order to fit in. Many people do not take the time to slow down and reflect on what works for them. People often turn to addictive stimulants, like coffee, sugar and cigarettes, to keep them going and fast foods because they do not have the time to sit and enjoy a healthy meal. This level of stress followed by poor diets often leads to poor health.

Many people’s relationship with food depends on who they hang out with. Your friends or family may eat fast food for lunch and dinner. But is that what you want to be eating? You may not want to be the odd person out and bring something healthier to the table. But what if you did? Your friends may be interested in what you are eating.

It’s the same with diet trends. Americans flock to the newest diet because of its deemed power to help everyone lose weight. But what works for one person may not work for you. In fact, most people who successfully lose weight or achieve a health goal do it by finding what works for them, not following some perfect diet plan.

America’s obesity epidemic has most people reevaluating their health and running off to the gym in an effort to lose weight because it is what they should do. Not everyone enjoys the gym. Some people find it boring, but go anyway. It is important to find a physical activity that you enjoy. Maybe it’s running outside, tennis, salsa dancing, swimming or walking. When you adapt exercise and eating habits that best support you, you will be more likely to keep up with them in the long run.

Relationships are another area where people feel the need to conform to what is expected. You are expected to date during your adolescence and then get married in your twenties and have kids. What if you have different priorities and want to postpone marriage? Or maybe marriage isn’t for you. Many men and women fall into the marriage cycle and find the wrong mate or rush into it only to wind up in a toxic relationship or divorced. If one is unhappy in a relationship or gets a divorce, we feel a sense of failure because marriage is supposed to be “until death do us part.”

Escaping the matrix and reclaiming our own individuality and lifestyle is very challenging, but it can also be extremely rewarding. When you start to adapt your own styles of eating, exercise, work style and relationships, you will feel more comfortable in your own skin which in turn will lead to increased health and happiness.

Try “fitting out.” Ask yourself: “Who am I, and what do I really want from my life?” And, when you start to wake up and look around, you will find many other intelligent people on the same path.

Trying to “fit out” is challenging and takes practice.

Here are simple exercises to help you:

Turn Off the Media
Hide the TV, magazines or newspapers and avoid the Internet for one day. How do your thoughts about the world and about yourself change without constant media messages? What do you notice?

Track Media Messages
Write down all the media you are exposed to on an average day and all the messages you receive. This includes: radio commercials, television commercials, billboards, Internet ads, subway ads and so on. What are the major messages you are receiving?

Wish List
Connect with your deepest desires for your future. Write down the elements that are most meaningful to your future, such as relationships, children, career, health and spirituality. What do you want to accomplish or obtain? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to meet or become closer with? Begin with the simple and obvious, and you will notice that more ideas come to you once you
start writing.

Joshua Rosenthal is the founder of The Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York City. The school teaches the pros and cons of most major dietary theories and offers students access to the world’s foremost authorities on health and nutrition. www.integrativenutrition.com.