We all want to be encouraged, uplifted, supported, inspired. We look for role models to emulate. Then, when someone we look up to disappoints us, most of us take it hard. Some even go so far as to stop doing what it was they had been inspired to do. Then they blame it on the person. It was all a lie, the person was a fraud, they say. My activities were probably worthless, anyway. How could someone who encouraged me, change and behave this way now? 

Not only is this attitude very dangerous, but it happens all the time. Someone who was very inspiring may go through a rough spot and no longer be available. Or they may show qualities we never knew they had. One moment we admired then, the next moment, we recoil. If we are depending on another for our inspiration to continue, we are in trouble.

Zen practice tells us to cut the leaning, depending mind. Give thanks for a moment of inspiration, but then look! Where does true encouragement come from? How do we keep going forward even in face of the endless obstacles and disappointments? 

Years ago, Eido Roshi said that "The best encouragement is no encouragement." I was struck by the statement, though I didn't know what it meant at that time. What he meant was that ultimately we must find the source of inspiration within. We must be encouraged by the process we are engaged in, by seeing its effects upon our life and the lives of others. 

When we lean on others, or on circumstances for our encouragement, it cannot last long. If we are waiting for praise from others, that too, will come and go. Look deeper. What about the process you are engaged in itself, is inspiring to you? Become your own source of encouragement. Allow the practice itself to uplift you and keep returning to that. 

Each day we are faced with new conditions. Each day brings joy and difficulty of its own. How you face the day that is coming, how you practice with it, is ultimately up to you alone. Ultimately, you are your own teacher! When you take that attitude, a whole world within and without opens up, bringing all kinds of unexpected strength and support.

Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D.psychologist, long term Zen practitioner, author and workshop leader, has offered over five hundred talks and workshops on all aspects of the simple laws of love. She presently offers Zen talks and a workshop entitled: Freeing Ourselves and One Another. This workshop introduces the practice of releasing, based upon Zen practice and principles and the Sedona Releasing method. Brenda is also an original student of Lester Levenson, founder of the Sedona Method. She can be reached at topspeaker@yahoo.com. www.brendashoshanna.com