Have you ever noticed that we repeat the same patterns in our lives over and over again? We say, “ I can’t believe this happened again!” finding ourselves in the same relationship rut, embroiled in the same argument or duplicating the same situation in our career, our friendships or in our relationship to money. The specifics of these events may change, however, at some point, we notice these patterns repeat themselves again and again and again.
When we become sick and tired of the same old drama and trauma and when we recognize these are repetitive patterns, we seek a solution to claim our freedom, realizing that we want to act instead of react by becoming aware of patterns stemming from the wounds of our past.
It is empowering when we come to the realization that only we are responsible for healing this wounded place inside of us. These wounds are the places where our Inner Child has experienced trauma in the past. These are raw and tender places and we often protect ourselves from venturing too close to them, covering them with layers of defenses so that no one can hurt us in the same way ever again. We run from the truth of how to heal these wounds afraid that we will not survive this encounter. It is a natural response, although there comes a time when we want a resolution desperately enough to release these fixed ways of reacting, knowing deep down that our true Self is much more than this.
We do not usually embrace this decision with leaps of joy and unbounded enthusiasm. Instead, it looks to us like the lesser of two evils; walking up to the edge of our fear and dipping our toes in. This new decision is unfamiliar and even terrifying, yet we know it is pointing us to a place that needs to heal. We also intuitively know that this wounded area will dictate our future choices unless we confront it. It will continue to nag and poke at us as life brings us situations and people that give us the opportunity to finally heal.
This place is wonderful and terrifying, exhilarating and strange. It beckons us to make a new choice and take a new road venturing into the unfamiliar territory of conscious choice. It calls for us to take control of our actions, our words and our thoughts instead of falling into the seductive allure of repetition, familiarity and complacency.
With this new realization and this new awareness, we can choose to act from love, for others and ourselves, rather than from a defensive standpoint. We can decide to look at the patterns in our lives with honesty and clarity, instead of fear. We can choose to see those in our lives in a new light, one bathed in acceptance and hopefully, compassion. Our past wounds will not cause intense anxiety because we’ll now know that only we are in charge of how we feel, what we believe and what we do.
This new awareness leading to new choices gives us the strength, stability and freedom that we ultimately seek. Those we come into contact with may respond differently as we shift away from unconscious reactions towards a new energy and it helps to heal us, as well as them if they choose, freeing us both from this energetic prison.
In this place, we find the freedom we have been searching for, a place where finally, our past no longer dictates our present.
Jeanmarie Wilson M.S. Ed. is a Reiki Practitioner, author of Parenting from Your Soul and a retired High School Counselor. www.jeanmariewilson.com.