Grief Is Love
by Bill Philipps

Girl waving heart flag

The grief we feel upon a loved one’s death is unbearable, but it can also be one of the most intense versions of love possible because that love is now limitless. In death, we break free of our human shell and transform into pure energy. The body dies, but the energy has always existed and can never be destroyed.

That energy exists in a perfect state of love, which is why when someone we love dies, we continue to sense them through our love for them. That love is their eternal soul. In this way, we are inseparable from them because the love itself transcends physical existence.

When we grieve, especially the physical loss of a loved one, there is significant pain, often unlike anything we’ve ever felt. Some may struggle to breathe, sleep, or eat. Tears may flow for days and at random times. The loss can physically hurt as we wonder how we will continue to live without that person. But the magic begins to happen when we learn to use this raw exposure to love in ways that honor that love. What about love that can inspire us to live differently, live with more love for those around us, and embrace the life we truly want for ourselves? Tragedy has a way of propelling us into new directions because it derails us from our expectations about how things are “supposed to happen,” inspiring us to act now so we can live our best life. It is the ultimate case of surrender. We cannot move through it without allowing it to move through us.

Grief is universal and connects us all. Love is the same. When the two collide, such as in death, people usually feel compassion instantly because most can comprehend the magnitude of this pain. We tend to feel an innate reaction to support someone who is suffering, and when someone we love dies, the people we count on for support become critical. We need to be able to be authentic and honest about how we feel with those we trust the

Our soul group comprises our soulmates, and a soulmate is a soul with whom we have lived many lifetimes. They are people with whom we have entered life on a soul level to learn lessons that are meant to help us ascend into a higher state of existence on the other side. This is part of why the grief associated with the physical death of a loved one can be so profound. Part of our soul is here in the living world, while the other part (the person we love) is now on the other side. Our expectation of continuing the journey together feels shattered. While there is some truth to this, it’s an illusion. We are never fully separated from our soulmates on the other side. This life is only a blip in the vast orchestra of our soul’s journey.

It’s a common misconception that a soulmate must be a romantic partner. They can certainly be a spouse or life partner, but these spiritual connections go far beyond romance. A soulmate can be a parent, sibling, child, friend, coworker, neighbor, or anyone else with whom we have a special bond. It can be someone we find at any point in our lives, whether at a young age or in our later years. We can have numerous soulmates throughout our lifetime, and even more than one at the same time.

Sometimes, upon meeting a soulmate, we may instantly be familiar with them. It’s also possible that familiarity grows as we get to know them and develop a soul recognition. Regardless of when it happens, this familiarity arises because we get a glimpse of a soul with whom we have spent many lifetimes. It is part of our journey of spiritual evolution.

When you meet someone you believe is a soulmate, you may experience déjà vu. I liken it to when I was sixteen years old and in a horrific car accident. When that happened, I saw my life flash before my eyes. Past experiences, good and bad, were suddenly in front of me. That memory flash is similar to what we feel when we first meet a soulmate. Since we haven’t met in this life before, we are not recalling current shared experiences; we are remembering our experiences with them in a previous life, much like an energetic imprint. As we get to know the person and build a relationship with them here on earth, we may continue to have those “flashes” as more of our past experiences with them emerge.

Soulmate relationships are not perfect. They are part of the soul contract set up from the other side before our birth. All souls within a soul group travel together throughout lifetimes to teach each other lessons so the soul can evolve into higher plains of existence. These are roles we play out here in life. We can argue or disagree, but no drama or toxicity can take away the love that exists with a soulmate because it transcends lifetimes. It stands the test of time — not just our time together here but in previous lives. That is why, even in death, that link cannot be broken.

Grief is a reminder that we have an unbreakable connection with our soulmates. It can change our way of thinking, ideas of self-limitation, and the people we let in going forward. In grief, we also learn the invaluable lesson of letting go. We must let go of the physical relationship with the one we love. But in letting go, we pick up something new. We transform. This transformation, brought on by grief, is an opportunity to forgive. There is no room to hold on to any ill will that separates us from those we love, either those who have crossed over or who are still with us but we have not forgiven. The time for healing ourselves is now.

Excerpted from the book Soul Searching: Tune In to Spirit and Awaken Your Inner Wisdom ©2023 by Bill Philipps. Printed with permission from New World Library —

Bill PhilippsSoul SearchingPsychic Medium Bill Philipps is the author of Expect the Unexpected, Signs from the Other Side, and most recently Soul Searching: Tune In to Spirit and Awaken Your Inner Wisdom. His life’s mission is to help people deal with the grief of losing loved ones by bringing through validations, evidential information, and beautiful messages from Spirit, which heal and bring a sense of peace. Visit him online at





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