Using Grief to Heal Yourself and Others
by Sue Frederick

There are many souls here who are struggling with the pain of losing a loved one. The experience of heart-wrenching grief is greater now than ever before because consciousness is more evolved and human life is more valued. Love has become more altruistic and prevalent, so death is more painful to those left behind.

This is all part of the shifting of the collective consciousness. Grief is the great teacher that demands we search our souls for a wiser perspective, or else lose our way in gut-wrenching pain. Even if we turn to drugs and alcohol for comfort, it is not unlikely that we will eventually find the path of awakening. The disabling physical imbalances caused by toxic substances demand healing. Everything brings us to healing, sooner or later. You can choose your path, but the destination is the same for everyone.

Many souls agree to leave early in order to awaken their large soul posses, the loved ones they leave behind. These souls come to Earth in human form for a brief moment of recognition, a short lifetime with their loved ones. They arrive with a preplanned early exit. Once they cross over, they work hard from the other side to enlighten and heal their loved ones left behind.

If you’ve been blessed with soul growth precipitated by the early loss of a loved one, reach out for guidance from your departed. Trust that they’re around you, offering love and support when you need it. Keep moving forward on your soul journey, learning what you came here to learn so that you can join them in higher consciousness.

Consciousness is shifting. There are countless people in powerful places currently aligning with divinity and making decisions that impact everyone’s growth. These evolved souls now on Earth inspire a sacred perspective; they encourage the divine view. You are part of this awakening. You’re being asked to pick up your divine lens.

If at first pain and grief overwhelm you and you struggle to find greater meaning, ultimately you’ll learn that you can reach for the truth and activate your divine lens. Whenever you do this, your life gets better, your pain diminishes, and you begin to help everyone around you awaken.

We’re reaching a tipping point of awakening right now on planet Earth. As the divine perspective spreads among us, awakening each one, it will ultimately relieve all suffering on Earth. When we shift into higher consciousness, our enlightenment will transform the darkness.


Alone with your grief, you may wonder if you’ll be able to make it on your own after your beloved has died. It’s completely natural to wonder this. You’re in the midst of your greatest soul challenge; the lesson you planned for your Earth adventure has arrived at your doorstep. Yet within this tragic moment, within your darkest despair, lives the purpose of your journey.

Your beloved watches over you every day and walks beside you.

Yet your ego lens perspective tells you the opposite. The ego tells you that you’re all alone, abandoned, grief-stricken, and that you’ll never be truly happy again. Your Higher Self tells you a different story, but grief drowns out its inner whisperings. Going through the motions of your old life, with the same job, friends, and hobbies, now leaves you feeling empty, even though that life once filled you with contentment.

You’re meant to change everything now, to shake it all up and grow. This devastating loss was designed by your Higher Self to break your old life apart, rip it down the seams, and help you start anew. This is for your highest good, even if you can’t see that today.

Someday, when you’ve had enough despair, your brave new direction will reveal itself. Taking this path less traveled will bring you love, joy, and meaningful work. It will bring you closer to who you came here to be. You’ll be guided into the dawn that you’ve been longing for. But it’s up to you to say yes.

Deep inside, layered beneath your grief, lives your innate joy—also known as the soul. When your depression lifts, you can feel joy pulsing within. Your soul is delighted that this pivotal event has finally arrived and that you’re in it now, in the thick of the lesson. Saying yes to this moment will open your heart wider than anything you’ve experienced before.

Your beloved’s agreement was to exit before you so that you could find your power, break away from conventional thinking, and accomplish your great work. You’ll find salvation through helping others. You’ve long known that you have healing gifts. There’s miraculous love in the casual conversations you share with others who are hurting. Boldly offering your gift of wisdom to the world is your next step.

Once you intend for this inner gift to become your purpose and for it to provide you with income, it will open to you. You’ll offer your healing presence fearlessly and be recognized for your meaningful work. You’ll quit the job that no longer serves you, and you’ll find your way to the most meaningful work. This miracle will happen because it’s meant to be, and your life will fill with grace as a result. Your soul desires this alignment.

On your morning walk, when you crest a hill and see the shimmer of a new sun on the lake, you can feel this joyful possibility within. You take a sip of it with your morning coffee. It waits for you to say “yes.”

Just one step forward is all it takes, one prayer for guidance, one asking breath, and one moment of courage. Your departed beloved applauds you. When you step toward their soul at the end, all pain is healed. You’ll feel proud of the way you walked up the final hill and stepped into the light, which changed everything. It seemed so hard at the time, you’ll remember. “I know, I know,” your beloved will say, holding you with love greater than you’ve ever known. He or she will be God, and your beloved, and your divinity, all in one moment of recognition.

On the day my father died, he appeared vividly to me while I meditated. I didn’t yet know he had died, but when he appeared during my meditation, I picked up the phone and called the hospital, where my brother confirmed that he had just had a heart attack. While the doctors and nurses performed desperate CPR procedures and my family members cried and held one another, Dad was already free of his body, appearing to me as young and playful as he had been forty years earlier. He made me laugh out loud in my meditation before I realized that the apparition in front of me was his soul, and that he had just crossed over.

If you’re grieving a loved one, quiet your mind and be still. It’s only in the silence that your loved one can comfort you, when you’re receptive and openhearted.


Why can’t we see our departed loved ones all the time? Primarily because the left brain, the ego mind, distracts us with worries, doubts, and fears. We need the left-brain logical mind for this earthly lifetime. It filters out the distractions of the divine realms so we can function in the physical world and accomplish our earthly tasks. Yet our goal is to merge this dense physical realm with the highest realms of love and light. When this merger is accomplished, we can reap the sensual beauty of life on Earth while still consciously connected to our divinity.

You agreed to be part of the consciousness shift happening in the world today. The pain you feel is an opportunity to shift your perspective.

To connect with your dearly departed, first quiet your logical left brain. Meditation is the most effective way to consistently accomplish this.

In my work, I see grieving clients nearly every day. When I’m aligned with my Higher Self, I feel openhearted and connected to a reality greater than our physical world. It’s a dimensional shift that occurs when I listen to a grieving person tell their story of loss. As their words and tears flow, I’m pulled into another dimension, where I can sense and sometimes even see their departed loved ones.

This process is like surrendering to a river of awareness that originates far beyond my mind. I hear words from their loved ones and their guides telling me what to say. It feels like a warm embrace. When I’m later asked why I said certain things, I have no idea. I can’t explain the process. It’s not a logical, left-brain experience. It’s a dialogue with the Divine. I feel drenched in love during the experience.

You’re absolutely capable of channeling this healing wisdom for yourself from your departed one and from your guides. It’s a matter of simply shifting into your divine lens perspective. The ego must be surrendered to hear the truth. I often use writing as a tool for accessing this higher consciousness. Begin with a sincere request for loving guidance and clear the mind through meditation. Then pick up a pen and begin writing quickly, without editing. As your ego steps out of the way, your Higher Self takes over and writes the words that flow from beyond your conscious mind. These words of wisdom will help you heal and reopen your connection to the Divine.

Trust this inner voice that comforts you when all else is stripped away, when your tears have left you quiet and empty. When you find yourself alone, broke, divorced, fired, and bereft, you may finally be willing to listen to the voice of your soul. This inner voice is your flawless navigator, your compass in the storm. It’s your ticket to happiness and your reason for being. Whenever you write from this inner voice or speak fearlessly from your heart, unconcerned about judgment, you untether your wisdom.

Your soul is a fearless, wild, beautiful bird. Your ego is a tiny cage. Open the door of your mind and set your soul free.


Excerpted with permission from Through a Divine Lens: Practices to Quiet Your Ego and Align with Your Soul, by Sue Frederick.

FrederickSue Frederick
is a lifelong intuitive, an ordained Unity minister, a certified past-life and between-lives soul regression therapist, a certified creative arts therapist, a career intuitive coach, grief intuitive coach, and master numerologist. She’s the author of Bridges to Heaven: True Stories of Loved Ones on the Other Side; I See Your Soul Mate: An Intuitive’s Guide to Finding and Keeping Love, and I See Your Dream Job: A Career Intuitive Shows You How to Discover What You Were Put on Earth to Do, and the memoir Water Oak: The Happiness of Longing.






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