We don’t like change. Yes, we pretend to and profess to “embrace change” or aspire to “create change”, yet in reality, we push it away with every fiber of our being. Gravitating to what is familiar, we find comfort in the expected and the conventional. Although we know the deal and have played out a recurring scenario many times before, the familiar provides a sense of security even if we complain about it. It applies when a situation is displeasing, annoying or even infuriating.
Life, however, is not about predictability or comfort; its challenges are meant to shake us out of our complacency. And we need to be shaken because we avoid change at all costs. It is not until we are profoundly uncomfortable, when the thought of something new is less terrifying than what we know, when the thought of what “could be” seems to hold some promise, that we inch along towards change.
We have to go through “the dark night of the soul” to effect lasting change; we do this by examining our role in the situation we find ourselves in with honesty and acceptance. This takes courage and grit. In this place, we come face to face with our dark side, our faults and excuses, our ego and its part in our choices and decisions. Although painful, we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge. Going though this process with self-love and acceptance is crucial; it is the only way to effect lasting change. Without it, we will revert to denial.
We all make our way through this world as flawed, imperfect and vulnerable beings. Our similarly imperfect world provides fertile ground for our growth and a platform for us to transform, which is what we are here for and we can only do so by trusting in the possibilities that change holds for us.
Jeanmarie Wilson is a school counselor, private college consultant at Your Journey to College and author of Parenting from Your Soul. She is passionate about helping parents approach their amazing, yet often challenging parenting journey with compassion and wisdom! www.parentingfromyoursoul.com