So, Covid’s Made You a Hot Mess. Now What?
by Judy Gaman – Texas

landcape with sun

During this shelter in place, there is plenty of time to reflect on who we are and the kind of person we want to become. If you suddenly realized that everything in your life sucked before the pandemic, it may be time to make a change. And if covid has caused you to graduate from life sucks to official hot mess status, the sooner you fix it, the better. You may not even know where to start, so here’s a foolproof plan to getting back on track. Starting now is not just good for your mental health, it’s also good for your physical health and financial future.

Stop Blaming Everyone Else .  This may actually be the hardest step. When things go wrong we tend to look at others and point the finger. But it simply can’t be everyone else. Taking ownership of mistakes and shortcomings is often painful, but it’s an essential step.

Clean up Your Social MediaNobody cares. Really. Read back through your posts and see how many times you complained, used foul language, or went on a full blown rant. It’s been said that psychiatrists can diagnose off a person’s social media. What does yours say about you? As you make new posts, think of ways you can lift others up and send positive vibes to those who need it.

Find a Place to Volunteer (abiding by current health guidelines). The best way to help yourself is to help others. A service centered heart is a changed heart. Find a food pantry, battered women’s shelter, or project where you can dedicate your time and talents. The gesture will not just change your heart, it will change your mind too. Not too many people walk away from service projects remembering how bad they think their own life is. If you can’t go out right now, this is a good time to research where you want to put future volunteer efforts once things return to normal.

Be Part of the Solution, Not the Problem.  Some people just complain about everything. Don’t be that person. Don’t complain unless you’re willing to help fix the issue. Every time you’re tempted to say something negative or launch your long list of dislikes, find one thing positive to say instead. If you can’t find one tiny good thing, then don’t complain without offering a solution.

Fix Your Relationships . Start by being the better person. When you’re tempted to gossip or play the blame game, don’t. Instead, look at the people that matter the most and let them know how much you love and appreciate them. Also, look for people in your circle who may be adding to your bad choice problem and break ties. Not all friends are true friends.

Fix Your Finances.  Become a lender and not a borrower. If you find yourself borrowing money from others, there’s a problem. Put yourself on a budget that’s within your own means, and don’t deviate. If you owe people money, work hard or work extra to get out of debt. No material thing could possibly feel as good as being debt free.

Ask for Help. You’re not the first person to screw their life up. And, humble pie is best eaten in the company of others. People (and God) tend to be willing and ready to help when the request is genuine. But, before you ask, be sure to spend some time reflecting on exactly what you need help with and how they can help you. Then, go in for the ask.

Judy GamanJudy Gaman is the CEO of Executive Medicine of Texas and an award-winning published author and speaker. Her inspiring memoir Love, Life, and Lucille, is available April 14, 2020. Learn more at


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