Of course, everyone does from time to time. And when that happens, those negative emotions or impulses can overwhelm you, taking over both your mind and body.
Why are these forces so powerful? Your ego has developed over the years through painful and happy experiences. Feelings of insecurity, jealousy, fear, and other destructive, knee-jerk emotional reactions build up within you as a result of past hurts you’ve experienced. These defenses become so ingrained that you do not see them — you do not even realize they exist.
As you encounter the problems and frustrations of day-to-day life, it’s easy to impulsively get impatient and angry when your buttons are pushed, which leads you to mistreat others. How do you avoid this? Here are five tips that can help you keep unhealthy emotions from shaping your behavior.
1. Don’t Let Your Initial Reaction Overwhelm You
Take a deep breath, or even sleep on it, before replying. By acting out of anger, jealousy or hatred, you are indulging your need for immediate satisfaction. You have lived long enough to know that anger only begets anger in return. What good will that do you? Yet you’re often unable to stop yourself. Looking at it in terms of your own self-interest, what benefits you more: Increasing an adversary’s anger toward you, or having them respect you? The harm that comes from other people can only harm you if you let it. If you see that it comes from pain within them, you can only feel sorry for them and not be hurt. You never really know what the people around you may be going through, so treat them with kindness. There is good in everyone, even though they may have been affected by events that cause them to approach the world and its people in destructive ways. Down deep they are like you. They are looking for love. Look for the love in them. Feel it! If you let your kindness – your empathy – come forth, you can perhaps help them in a kind and loving manner. If someone hates you, that is their problem. Don’t make it your problem, too. Be patient and friendly with everyone. Don’t let the base, impulsive, animalistic part of you defeat your true good nature. Be true to yourself. Choose to be happy and content.
2. Do Not Look Down Upon People
Do not judge people who practice things that to you seem ignorant or stupid. Listen to them and seek to learn from them. You may discover something that will help you in life. Don’t spend your time and effort denouncing other people’s faults. Spend your time and effort correcting your own. Recognize the value of the different paths that others have taken. Share your experiences with others, and seek to learn the common aspects of your paths. That is where you will find love and spiritual enlightenment.
3. Be Happy with What You Have
It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself, but don’t fall into that trap. Consider the history of people who have lost their limbs, sight or movement. See how they have modified their life to become just as happy and fulfilled as before their misfortune. Many of them become even more content. Look no further than the life of Stephen Hawking, the astrophysicist who wrote A Brief History of Time. Who could have lived a fuller and more meaningful life than that man, who was confined to a wheelchair and could not speak or even gesture? Don’t be a victim of events. You are in control of your own life. Whatever is thrown at you in life, find a way to grow from it. Think of it this way: Life on earth is a school through which we human souls gradually learn to become wise, transcendent, blissful, and eternal. Learn from all events, both good and bad.
4. Let Your Spirit Shine
Your spirit is what connects you with others. Allowing it to shine will reveal your life’s purpose and bring you contentment and happiness. You will see beyond your fears, jealousies, and lusts.How do you find the spirit within you? By looking into your own heart, not outward to the heavens. Within you is a profound spiritual commonality with all people, and through that path, you will find spiritual awakening. We know it as love.
You get to that spiritual place by yourself. When you become open, you make yourself receptive to revelation. That revelation can often come out of despair — hence the saying, “it is darkest before the dawn.” Through meditation you can train yourself to your inner spirit and receive revelation without the necessity of deep trauma. You will receive inspiration, epiphanies, and eventually mind-blowing revelations. Through that higher consciousness, you will see the true essence of everything and everyone. You will, perhaps for the first time, understand the true meaning of the things that you may have been hearing for years. You will appreciate the true essence of yourself and other people.
5. Meditation Helps You Overcome Unconstructive Emotions
Meditation is about opening yourself to your inner spirit. Practicing meditation is how you can learn to achieve higher goals. It prepares you to be fully present. Everything is in this moment. Your memories of the past are faulty, and the future has not yet happened. All you have is NOW. If you stay in this moment, and every moment as it comes, the years will take care of themselves. Meditation opens you to complete awareness of the moment. It’s a practice that has changed my life, and I look forward to sharing that journey with others.
Ted Orenstein writes, speaks, and teaches about spiritual enlightenment. He enjoys sharing that there is a purpose and direction to the universe, and that it is good. A former lawyer, Ted’s mission is to help others find greater meaning and fulfillment, and a deeper understanding of why people are what they are. He is the author of Awaken Your Soul: How to Find Your Inner Spirit and Life’s Purpose. Learn more at tedorenstein.com.
